Belly to Belly
Jed approached me and said, “the book I’m reading says we should touch bare belly to bare belly often to feel connected and grounded”. I giggled and we tried it— and perhaps to no one’s surprise, there was an immediate feeling of deep calm and connection. Like—similar to the feeling of submerging your whole body in a perfectly warm bath; a cellular reset and stillness. It was close and intimate and vulnerable. Even if you’re in a relationship with someone, touching bare belly to bare belly is inherently vulnerable—there is nowhere to hide and there must be deep trust that the other person will be able to meet you in that moment.
The lower part of our belly is home to our sacral chakra, the chakra that represents expression and creativity, our pleasure and intimacy, our sensuality and sexuality, our wounded selves, sexual trauma and shame. For some, maybe it’s where they feel most connected, for many it may feel like a foreign or uncomfortable or even forbidden area.
The bare belly to bare belly practice encourages us to rewrite our stories about this area of the body. Babies don’t care about their gently puffed-out bellies, toddlers don’t worry about what their tummies look like in a shirt. Can we remember some of that freedom?
As a commenter on TikTok said, “it’s giving Winnie the Pooh marriage counseling in the best way”. And to that I say, absolutely it is. We are all just little bears wanting to feel loved and accepted, bare bellies and all.
Soft Belly Love
When creating the visual for this email, after I searched “belly” I was flooded with photos of unhappy-looking humans pinching their midsection, or even holding a tape measure around their waist. How sad it is that we’ve created such deeply embedded messaging about feeling shame and rejection towards the areas of our bodies that hold our most precious tools.
I’ve told a few people about this practice and have been met with, “I could never do that!” And the truth is, it’s not their fault. I was so self conscious of my own stomach for so long. But—our bellies undulate with the moon, our menstrual cycle, the tide, our travels and our meals. They swell and release, move matter and hold and process emotions. It is our birthright to feel comfortable in our skin, yet the journey to that “destination” (is it a place to go or a state of mind? you decide) feels insurmountable at time.
We’ve been told over and over again that our bellies must look and perform a certain way or—especially for women—that we should hide the parts of ourselves that are connected to our sexuality in any way.
I encourage anyone who feels wary reading this to tread lightly—be radically gentle with yourself when unpacking stories around your body and self image. Take it slowly and be self compassionate!
Radicalize Your Relationship With Your Belly
To undo decades of negative messaging around our bellies in just a few days or months is daunting and unrealistic. Here are some tiny ways to practice loving your midsection:
Gently oil or massage your midsection before or after the shower, take your time
Simply place your hand on your belly during a meditation or savasana in a yoga practice
Practice wearing clothing that feels comfortable around your waist—loose, perhaps some of your midsection is showing, or a piece of clothing that doesn’t feel “flattering”
Might I mention investing in a bathing suit that feels comfortable, will stretch with you and is size-inclusive? (I wish I had a code, but I sadly don’t—maybe some day!) I’ve had pregnant, post-partum and non-preggo friends rave about their experience with Youswim, which is so cool to hear!
Practice deep, full belly breaths, really let yourself expand
Dance around your room naked, or do some naked yoga
Find a movement teacher or program who encourages letting go of negative body messaging—I am huge fan of Kara Duval and her platform Range
If you feel safe enough, can you try touching bare belly to bare belly with your partner?
Self pleasure! I don’t care that this is taboo, it only is if we let it be. Let yourself enjoy your own touch <3
