Decide + Surrender
Decide + Surrender
Maybe you want to love your body more, or reframe your fears around money, or call in your dream partner. Maybe you’ve noticed you’re down on yourself about work accomplishments, friendships or lack of motivation. So, the thought strikes: I'm going to love myself more! I'm going to be more vulnerable! I'm going to be a person who makes more money! When we decide we want to think new thoughts, cultivate new attitudes and manifest whatever we are dreaming of manifesting, we may support this shift in several ways:
-journaling
-affirmations
-Emotional Freedom Technique, or EFT
-meditation
-new habits and routines
These are excellent ways to support our journey AND they are not effective if we haven’t included another step that is so often overlooked:
Decide you are committed to the new way of thinking, and then surrender your old defenses. Yes, that means completely letting go of the HABIT of thinking the old way and committing to the new way. Yes, that means being open and willing to think differently. It is not always comfortable and does not always feel good or natural or easy.
This is about 100% easier said than done, but I can attest to the efficacy of it. My career has been an adventurous road that has led me down many different paths. At some point after college, I realized that I simply didn’t want to do what everyone was doing yet I still wanted “the approval” from people I loved and respected. This will never work. My desire to be on my own path was entangled in my desire for approval, yet, the two are fundamentally opposing forces. I have had to completely let go of wanting to be approved of to really embrace the new path I am on.
Dr. Joe Dispenza says when we get off track from our desired way of thinking and being, we have to, “get back on the horse” and “stay loose”. I love this! If we are determined to do what is in our truth (whether that is love our bodies unconditionally, be more confident, set boundaries, be vulnerable—whatever!), we must be willing to recognize when we slip back into our habitual way of thinking, be tender with ourselves, let it go and then get back on the horse!
How to put this into practice:
Be honest + detangle. Are your underlying thoughts or motivations actually aligned with your greatest and highest desire? Are there really no conditions around the outcome? If we are aiming to love our bodies, but only love them when we’ve categorized them as “good”, that is not unconditional and that is not a new way of thinking. That’s just self love with rules around it. Remember: if there is entanglement and opposing forces, it’s not going to work.
Catch yourself, frequently. All too easily do we start to judge ourselves the moment we get “out” of the new way of thinking or being we want. Don’t indulge in beating yourself up (easier said than done!), this just perpetuates the cycle and the story. Just catch it, take a moment, and move on. Stay loose. Just like meditation: you see the thought and let it pass. You don’t spend five minutes being mad that you had a thought.
Get it Out There! What does you loving your body unconditionally look like? What does doing something without others’ approval look like? What does being incredibly unapologetically in love look like? What does being more vulnerable look like? Do one tiny act that contributes to what you’re envisioning. We do not cultivate and create new versions of ourselves in secret or in hiding. Take a step towards “being” that version of you. It does not all happen in our minds. Our bodies need to experience what it feels like to be that version of us.
Does this sound hard to you? Easy? I'd love to know your thoughts! If any of the above questions got you thinking, and you want support in integrating these learnings, my summer coaching program still has a few openings! Send me an email (courtneybstaceycoaching@gmail.com) for a free Connection Call!
In love, gratitude and surrender,
Courtney
